Little Acorn

Lilypie Second Birthday tickers

Monday, June 18, 2012

crappy experiences (15 Weeks)

WARNING! This is definitely too much information, but this is reality, this is pregnancy, and I wouldn't be fair to myself if I deleted this post because it's a little embarrassing. So please proceed with caution if you dare!

All is well now. But over the past few weeks, I've had some serious digestive maladies that culminated into some pretty shitty experiences.  However, with my fearless dedication to Miralax, I can now sleep (and err, crap) easy. You wouldn't believe it. My intestines slowed down to a snail's pace by week 13. We're talking massive bowel movements of epic proportions: once a week requiring an  industrial strength plunger every time. It was painful and embarrassing. Who knew my pregnancy woes would start with the letter "B" and end with the letter "M?" 

It was so bad that I was getting pretty good at plunging at home, but catch me anywhere else and I was a wreck, stopping up toilets all over the map, anxiety flooding along with the toilet water. I had a melt down at my parent's house when the toilet started overflowing on their recently polished floors and I started to scream at the porcelain thrown to stop over flowing. Because screaming works. Yet I couldn't understand why it wasn't stopping! I started crying, hyperventilating, continued screaming, you name it. When I finally calmed down enough to realize yelling wouldn't do the trick, I rationally and sheepishly turned off the water. I tried to calm my nerves and cleaned everything up like a normal person would do. Hurdle over!

Next, cue the Clay Pit where my girlfriends and I enjoyed a lovely Indian dinner. After dinner, though, the toilet troubles began again. Stopped that one up too. But this time, I had bright red spotting to contend with, and it wasn't from my backside. I tried not to panic as I quickly excused myself from the group and immediately called the doctor. I had just seen little acorn two days earlier for the genetics testing, my system was backed up, and I just had a BM, so the doctor didn't seem too concerned, not enough to rush me to the ER. The spotting luckily was a one time event and after hearing the heart tones the next day all was well. I bought a huge tub of Miralax and began religiously using it, smiling with relief that my crappy troubles were over. Whew!

Cue three days later and I decided to take a walk in our lovely neighborhood. I was enjoying the birds and sun and bungalows when all of a sudden it hits me. That bitch Miralax slapped me all at once and I was at least 15 minutes from the house! What? You think you can control this? Hahaha, no ma'am! I started walking. Faster. And FASTER! Up through the hills and through the golf course to my little house I go. But alas, I was not fast enough. No, Miralax is one of those annoying sluts that shows up late - not fashionably late - but like the party's completely over and we're all asleep late, at the most inopportune time to hang out. With every step I muttered an oh too ironic mantra of "Oh, shit," "Oh, shit," "Oh, shit." But nothing helped. The unthinkable happened. It came. I felt. It conquered. And it continued to happen whether I was near a toilet or not. I finally just gave up and thought well, Hell, you've already shit your pants today, so why run and shimmy it down faster? I shakily made it to my house about 10 minutes later only to have to clean myself up like a damned child. And guess what? I still needed a plunger! 

AAAAND scene.

Week 15
Whoa! Now that's definitely gotta a pie baby in there! No way I popped that fast!

Week 14 
Barely bumpin' along!
        

Thursday, June 7, 2012

baby loves pie (13 Weeks)

Crazy how time flies. I'm now at 13 1/2 weeks and loving every minute of it. I saw lil' acorn again on Tuesday for our genetics testing and s/he was so big! HUGE! Well, relatively speaking, he essentially quadrupled in size from the last time I saw him in week 9. The genetics testing went fine, at least the nucal translucency test to determine a high indication of Downs syndrome. The space at the back of the neck is visible for a short time at the end of the first trimester. When I went in at 13 weeks, anything bigger than 3 mm should give cause for concern, but our little acorn had only a 1.5-mm space, so that was very good. 

I've been trucking along, gaining wait, but surprisingly not in my gut too much--just a little pooch. No, this weight is mostly ass, and I can't help but wonder why I need so much padding? I mean it's not like my ass is giving birth! I can't stop eating breakfast tacos so that may be the problem. And pie. Man, baby loves pie. I really need to get this under control. I've definitely gained about 5 pounds in the first trimester, so I'm concerned the trend will continue exponentially. I really need to reign it in on the unhealthy food. I eat healthily, but I also mix in some not so healthy things on top. What is wrong with me?

I haven't told my bosses yet and I fear it's getting time. My boss is out of town until week 15, so I was considering not saying anything until then. But then again, my belly may force me to say something sooner. At the rate I'm going, at the rate baby loves pie, I could be showing in the next few weeks...

I told my oldest and dearest friends of the pregnancy and it was lovely. We had wonderful conversations and it really was good to catch up. I sent an apology email first because I really have been absent, from my own life and in the lives of everyone I love. But they wouldn't accept it. And it was so nice to have genuine conversations again with these oldest of friends. It was nice to be so honest and open again. These women cried for me and were genuinely happy for me. I remember crying tears of joy and to be honest, tears of sadness too, when they told me of their good news. I have taken stock of how I used to approach life and really want to make a change for the better, to be real and truthful and unafraid to be my broken self, healed crooked and all, limping tall through life.

So once I have let the cat out of the bag, I can breathe easy, be myself, and enjoy all there is in this world, from the beautiful baby growing in my belly, to my family and friends, to joyous happy times to come, to pie! Mmmm...pie.

 Week 13
Now we're getting somewhere! Who knew a couple of pies could make you look pregnant? Really?
 

Week 12
 Still pretty flat.